This Love is Brave and Wild
by spiritdreamingwithAdrian
Summary: AU: "But I knew, deep down, that there was something to worry about. This Adrian Ivashkov, he has been haunting my dreams every night since that day. I do not believe he stole those things, nor do I believe he is a bad person. Even though I do not know him, I think there is good in him. There is something about this Adrian Ivashkov boy. Something about him I want to know."
1. Authors Note

Hello! This idea came from an amazing website called Tumblr, where I saw a picture that encouraged this OTP. _Viktoria and Adrian_. If there wasn't a Sydney in the middle, I would probably force Richelle to write these two amazing characters falling in love.

AU: This story is not Canon (almost _at all_) but we can set it a few years or so after Last Sacrifice (Which means, yes, Dimitri was Strigoi). **Please forget about Bloodlines!** In this story, all those Sydrian feels never happened! I ship Sydrian, but it's all about Viktoria/Adrian here!

Also, something I would like so add is that the title of this fanfic is from the song State of Grace by Taylor Swift. The story is also half based on that song, I suppose.

It's kind of cheezy, but I tried my best! It's my first fanfic on here, so please go easy on me! I hope you enjoy! And please, please review! It would mean a lot to me, to know what you guys' think of my writing (I'm really trying to improve it).


	2. Prologue

PROLOGUE

**_" _**And I never saw you coming;  
and I'll never be the same  
so you were never a saint  
and I've loved in shades of wrong  
we learn to live with the pain  
mosaic broken hearts  
but _this love is brave and wild __**"**_

* * *

"Viktoria, do you remember that Moroi... Adrian Ivashkov?"

Adrian Ivashkov is known for his bad boy streak. The drinking, the partying, the girls. It was relatively known, that was who he is. Charming, yes. But dangerous. Very, very dangerous. He was arrested for stealing something, something very important to the Moroi world. Apparently something that wasn't supposed to be touched. Possibly rare. Because I don't think the Queen — Who, by the way, is Ivashkov's friend — would throw the guy in jail for no reason.

I've talked to him once, but only barely. No one knew. His story was going around. But that wasn't the problem, the problem was.. I _saw_ his story. I witnessed it. And no one knew.

Only _he_ did.

_Nikolai planted a kiss on my cheek, and I responded with a small smile. Although that had scored us a few glares from Dimitri, who seemed uncomfortable with any guy that went out with me. Only, it was a matter of time. He'd like Nikolai, I knew he would. But that only left me... I don't think I'll be able to love him. Not like Roza and Dimka's love._

_I grinned at Dimitri, teasingly. "I'm going to go outside. Anyone want to join?" I had gone on more than a few walks around court, it fascinated me every time. I've never really been outside of Baia. Which wouldn't surprise you. Only this time we were invited for Chrismas. And it seemed like a fun opportunity for us. Even though it was only me and my sister, Sonya. My mother had remained with Yeva, who was sick. And my oldest sister, Karolina had remained with her two kids, Zoya and Paul. While Sonya found it necessary for little Xavier to meet his uncle. And Nikolai? My little treat to Dimitri. I wanted him to meet Nikolai, since I suppose I don't have a future with anyone else. Or better yet, my family will not approve of anyone else._

_No one seemed too ecstatic with the idea of even leaving the house, since it was snowing. I nodded, grabbing my coat. _  
_"Vik, want me to come with?" Nikolai suggested, "Not that I want to, but I don't want you out there alone." The idea seemed to catch Dimitri's attention, and I let out a small laugh. "I'll be okay. I won't go too far. Maybe just to the Cafe'." I sighed, "And I'll look for Roza." _  
_Dimitri's lips curled up into a small smile, seemingly happy about my suggestion. Those two never grew tired of each other. "No, no." he said, "She's over at Vasilisa's, enjoying her time teasing Christian." he laughed. _  
_I smiled, "Alright, I'll be back in a bit."_

_The cold wind hit me like a slap in the face—well, nearly. Since I've lived in Russia my entire life, I grew used to weather like this._

_There he was._

_Tall, and dark. His shadow barely visible through the small snowflakes, he was facing me, though not looking at me. His emerald green eyes shone, even in the darkness of the Vampiric day. The man was leaning against the Guest Housing. He couldn't be much older than me, at least 22. Then, as if on cue, his eyes met mine. And I couldn't help but freeze, nearly slipping in the snow. I caught myself just barely in time, catching my breath, which was making small clouds every time I breathed._

_He sat up, fixing his posture. He was taller than me. I wasn't very tall, though. And he was Moroi, so of course it made sense. I stepped back, almost instinctly. I've never felt this kind of... thing, with a Moroi before. After Rolan, I've learnt from my mistakes. I couldn't; I wouldn't. I wouldn't make that mistake again._

_In that moment, his eyes left mine, looking to the far left. I followed his gaze. Through the snow and darkness, it was almost hard to see. And I was confused, but my dhampir eyesight helped me. I could tell they were guardians, and I could tell they were coming towards us. But to who?_

_He was a good distance away from me, the building he was leaning on was adjacent to Dimitri's apartment. They were getting closer, and I thought I'd run. But I didn't; he did._

_What?_

_He wasn't fast, though. This man was Moroi, with no training. He was facing a pack of fully trained guardians with more experience than me myself. They'd know so much more than both of us. And to be stationed at the Royal Court, they must be very well trained guardians._

_The Guards passed me, and I few moments later I found myself following them, curiosity filling me. Adrenaline began coursing through me, as if I were about to face a pack of Strigoi instead of trying to figure out why a bunch of guardians were following a random Moroi man. One I didn't know, but instantly felt a connection with._

_My boots fell deep into the snow several times, causing me to stagger back. With my mind reeling, I managed to get myself lost. The snow surrounded me, and I heard their footsteps up until I was in complete silence. Breathing heavily, I looked around. _

_"Hey,"__  
_

_I jumped. Turning around as quickly as possible, I found my fists in balls, ready to attack whatever or whoever it was. Instead of red-eyed evil creatures of the night, I was met with emerald green ones. Eyes I felt I would lose myself in. "Y-yes?"_

_The man smirked, "Have you been following me?" he said it in an almost sing-song way, as if catching a child in the cookie jar._  
_I managed to look completely surprised. Though I wasn't at all, because that was exactly what I was doing. "No! I'm lost." _  
_He tilted his head, as if trying to study me further, "You watched me run from the guards and got lost?" _  
_I sighed. "I said, I didn't follow you, Lord..?" _  
_"Ivashkov." he said, "But you won't have to call me that, you can call me Adrian." Adrian extended his head, but I didn't take it, instead keeping my hands to my side. Adrian bit his lip, for a moment his fist curled up into a ball, and then fell to his side. "And you are..?" _  
_I felt the need to step back. I never felt safe around Moroi men. Silently, I recited the twelve Royal Moroi Families in my head._

_Dragomir;_ _Badica;_ _Conta;_ _Ozera;_ _Tarus;_ _Dashkov;_ _Voda;_ _Lazar;_ _Drozdov;_ _Zeklos;_ _Szelky;_ _Ivashkov._

_Ivashkov. Royal, of course. I pulled my hair out of my face, and felt my cheeks flush pink from the cold weather. "It's nice to meet you, Lord Ivashkov. But I don't really feel safe talking to a man that was just followed by a group of Guardians. I'd better get going." _  
_Adrian sighed, "Them? That's nothing. I just... did something wrong. Doesn't really matter." he paused, as if realizing what he had just said, "No, I mean, they think I did something wrong. I'm not... that kind of person..." he trailed off. _  
_I shook my head. "Maybe I'll see you around, then?" From afar, I saw the figures grow closer, and closer, and closer. "Nice meeting you, Adrian." I said in a low voice, and turned around, slowly._

_Just stay calm, he won't notice; he won't notice. The guards will take care of him; for whatever he's done._

_I barely heard him say, "It was nice to meet you, too, Viktoria."_

_I hid behind the building. And only then I forced myself to see what was happening. The guards immediately tackled him to the ground. Adrian's head was slammed hard against the wet, snowy sidewalk, in attempt to stop his struggling. A small gasp escaped my mouth, I've never seen a Moroi be treated more cruelly. Just then, his emerald eyes caught mine, and I didn't turn away, I didn't even move. I stood there. I stood there until they handcuffed him and guided him in the other direction. I stood there until I couldn't see any trace of them anymore. Even after that, I stood there for a long time. Longer than I should've. But I still felt his gaze on mine, his emerald green eyes looking into mine as if they could see right through me._

Nikolai was sitting on the couch, playing with little Xavier. As I sat on the top of the counter in the kitchen, watching my mother cook. "Viktoria? Did you hear me?" My mother asked, looking up at me, waiting for an answer.

"Huh?" I said, confused.  
"As I said, Adrian Ivashkov will be staying over for a while. Do you remember Dimka talking about him?"  
"Yes, I remember, Momma." I said with a small smile.

"Well, we were the only people who would voulunteer to keep him over. They feel as if it would help him... you know, calm down. The boy is a real sweetheart," she said with a small smile. "Roza told me about him. But he's a spirit user, just like Oksana. He's gone a little bit.. crazy."  
Nikolai looked up from the couch, his eyes meeting mine in concern, "You sure you want to let a criminal like that into your house?" he asked.  
"He's not exactly a criminal. He claims he hasn't stole those things." she sighed, "There must be a mistake. I know of his father; both of them are great people." She shrugged, "With all their money, why would he want to steal anything anyways? Something is wrong, I assure you." She was right. Adrian Ivashkov was one of the richest Moroi around, why would he want to steal those things?

"Will Dimka be coming over?" Asked Karolina, with Zoya on her hip.  
"Of course!" My mother exclaimed, "I would never let a man like that into my house without someone to make sure nothing happens."  
Sighing, I jumped off the counter, "Then there's nothing to worry about."

But I knew, deep down, that there was something to worry about. This Adrian Ivashkov, he has been haunting my dreams every night since that day. I do not believe he stole those things, nor do I believe he is a bad person. But I think...  
Even though I do not know him, I think there is good in him. There is something about this Adrian Ivashkov boy. Something about him I want to know.


	3. Chapter One

**A/N: This is me warning you that there's bad language in this chapter. Not too much, but there's some in there, if anyone feels uncomfortable or anything like that. Hope you like this one. :) Also, I didn't really go through this one like I should, so there may be a few mistakes in there.**

* * *

**CHAPTER ONE**

**_"_** You come around and the armor falls  
Pierce the room like a cannon ball _**"**_

* * *

"When's he supposed to be here?" I asked. We were all sitting around in the living room, where, the TV was on for no reason, and Zoya was playing with some ragged up old doll. Watching her now, it was hard to believe only next year she'll be attending St. Basils.

My mother frowned, "Ten minutes ago."

Through the corner of my eye, I realized Nikolai smirking. "The delinquent is late. Surprise surprise." he said. Nikolai has always been treated as part of the family, so it was never awkward or anything. He was free to say whatever he wanted, though sometimes, you shouldn't push it too far. I glared at him.

"Don't be so judgmental, Nikolai." Karolina gave Nikolai a disapproving look. "We're welcoming him into our home because it's safe. The Queen _and_ Roza asked us to. And he doesn't seem too bad."

Sonya sighed, "Then why are we waiting around like this? I feel like we're waiting for news from a doctor."

"No, I'm waiting for Dimka." Yeva said, her eyes darted around the room, then settled on me. I shivered. "Viktoria, why do you seem so..." she trailed off, as if not finding the right word to fit her sentence.

"What? Why do I look so what?" Secretly, I was biting the inside of my mouth. Yeva dreamed about Roza coming when Dimitri was Strigoi. If she had any idea of what happened that day, or anything at all, I'd have to be careful with her.

Instantly, she shook her head, as if nothing I was going to say was going to change her opinion. Even so, she simply said, "Nothing." and turned away.

I felt everyone's eyes on me for a moment. I didn't move. I didn't say anything.

Suddenly, as if it was the rarest thing ever, the doorbell rang.

Everyone shot up at once. "They're here!" My mother announced, a little too excitedly.

* * *

"And this is my youngest daughter, Viktoria." My mother said, she seemed too happy about what was going on, and I knew instantly there was something. Dimitri's dark eyes meet mine, in concern, I suppose. He noticed the same thing.

Adrian extends his hand, and I take it. It seems to surprise him, but he still smiles a little. "Viktoria." he repeats. "That's a beautiful name."  
I smile, feeling the color rise to my cheeks. "T-thank you."

For a moment our eyes lock, and Adrian tilts his head, studying me. I feel a weird feeling course serge through me under his heavy gaze.

"You can let go of her hand now, Ivashkov." Nikolai's dark eyes don't cross mine, but stay on Adrian's. I staggered back, and Nikolai's hand is instantly connected with mine.

Adrian seemed to do the same thing he had done the first time I saw him. His hand balled into a fist, and he soon let it drop to his side. "Sorry." I barely heard him, it was more of a whisper. He ran a hand through his hair, which has been styled messy, on purpose. He probably spent more time on his hair than me.

Rose's smile faded, her eyes giving me a sort of warning look. Then, suddenly, she grinned. "Let's eat! I've been craving your food, Olena." she said thoughtfully.  
My mother smiled at Rose, patting her cheek and guiding her to the kitchen.

Soon enough, we crowded around the dining room table. The smell of my mothers' cooking filling the house. Adrian was more laid-back than I thought. Everyone was smiling, and laughing.

Nikolai was talking to me, but I didn't hear him. There were many different conversations going around, that it was hard to focus on just one. My mind reeled, but my eyes remained fixated on Adrian. He was talking to my mother. Something about the Royal Court. I wasn't entirely sure, but it didn't really matter, not to me, at least. His trademark smirk was there. I haven't been around him long, but I already knew it was a known quality to him.

"So, Adrian, what was it like being in that big of trouble. I didn't get the full story." Nikolai's eyes were dark, and his voice low. All the noise in the room faded, to complete silence. Everyone looked at Nikolai in shock.

Adrian turned to him, an eyebrow raised, his green eyes dark as well, "What did you just say?"

Nikolai ignored me completely, his eyes looking straight into Adrian's, "I mean, I didn't get to hear the full story, and I guess since you're here, I thought you'd tell me—I mean, us."

"Nikolai!" I whispered in a hiss, tightening my grip on his hand.

For a moment silence fell, and Adrian's and Nikolai's eyes stared into each other, as the whole room watched in silence. My free hand twitched. I did not want to see Adrian get beat up. I expected a concussion from the last time I'd seen him. When they had hit his head against the sidewalk. But it was like nothing had ever happened. My hand was gripping on Nikolai's, as a warning. If anything happened; if anything happened...

Then, Adrian let his fork fall back onto his plate.

_Please, please don't do anything,_ I thought as my nails dug into the palm of my hand.

Adrian's dark green eyes never left Nikolai's. They were full of pain, and anger. "Look, kid. You don't know a damn thing about me, and don't act like you do. You really think I wanted to come to this small, shitty town? I'd rather be at court. You think it was easy being framed for something I didn't do? Sitting in jail for all that time? Have all your friends turn their back at you? You know what it's like to lose anyone's respect?" Adrian stood up, "_You don't know a damn thing about me._" his last words were dark and full of venom, he said them slowly, making sure everyone got every single word.

With that, Adrian stormed out of the front door, while Nikolai earned a few disapproving looks from my family.


	4. Chapter Two

**A/N: Hey guys! Sorry for taking so long to update. I sort of got lost. Thanks for all the lovely reviews! I really hope you enjoy this chapter!  
**

* * *

**CHAPTER TWO**

**"** We are alone with our changing minds;  
we fall in love 'til it hurts or bleeds **_"_**

Glancing up the dark stairs, there was no sound except my quiet footsteps. _Where the hell would he be?_ I thought. There was no way a guy from the Royal Court could find his way so easily around our house. Even more surprising than that, the fact that no one seemed to care. At all. All they said was that he needed his space. I didn't think so, though. If I was in his place, I would want someone to talk to me. And no one did. And it infuriated me.

_Why am I doing this?_

Slowly, I tip-toed out the door, casting one last glance at Nikolai, who was asleep on the couch.

I was only in a hoodie and pajama pants, which now, seemed like one of the worst ideas I've ever had. It wasn't that I didn't know how cold it was, per say. I just didn't know it was _this_ cold.

_Where are you, Ivashkov?_

I rounded the corner of my house, something I'd never do past midnight, nor would I have thought of it till now. All I could remember was Adrian making his way out the door before anyone could say anything —except my mother, of course, who seemed to like him more than anyone in the house. She'll probably be glaring at Nikolai until the day he actually decides to apologize to Adrian. Which will be never.

"You didn't really have to come look for me. Even though it shouldn't be a surprise, most women do."

I jumped, turning around, surprised at how close he was. I glared at him. "Funny," I said, "We'd thought you'd left somehow, I didn't think you'd be out here."

"Oh, really? So you weren't looking for me?"

I scoffed. "No."

"You sure?"

"Yes."

"Positive?"

I shook my head, pushing him further away from me. He chuckled. "Right. So you just decided to come outside?"

"Yes." I bit my lip, wanting to change the subject and used the first thing that came to mind. "And what was up with the whole 'beautiful name' crap? You know I have a boyfriend."

He looked up—actually, he looked down at me, he was so tall, especially when we were so close—with what I suppose were supposed to be angelic eyes. "What? I'm not allowed to think you have a beautiful name?" he paused, as if lost in thought for a moment. "And, actually," he said, "I didn't know you had a boyfriend."

"Yes you did!" I exclaimed, "What else would Nikolai be doing at our house?"

Adrian laughed, at my sudden panic attack, I'd bet. I sighed. "Thought he was your brother or something."

I glared at him, crossing my arms over my chest, "You're a terrible liar, Adrian Ivashkov."

"Actually, I'm an excellent liar, Viktoria Belikova." he said, smirking. "But I just don't find it necessary to use my charm on you, although it already seems to be working all by itself."

"Cute," I muttered, annoyed. I have barely spoken to him and I already felt like I was talking to a middle-schooler. He almost reminded me of Paul. "So what," I demanded, "Are you using your so-called charm on anyone else?"

I didn't think he would answer. "Sure," he said, his trademark smirk never leaving his face. "Your sister—what's her name? Sonya?"

This time, I did punch him, but lightly, in the chest. He staggered back a bit, but otherwise it went unnoticed and didn't seem to hurt him at all. Which made me want to hurt him. _Really_ hurt him. "You did _not_ just say that." I said angrily.

My anger didn't seem to bother him at all. "I did, actually."

"You should know better than to piss an eighteen-year-old dhampir—who'd graduated."

Adrian raised an eyebrow, "You've graduated?"

I rolled my eyes. "Are you kidding me? It's October, if I hadn't graduated, I'd be in school."

"Right, right. That's why your nephew is missing, right? Your brother wouldn't shut up about your family on the plane ride—I was stuck next to him and Rose the whole time." He paused. "What was his name again—?"

"Paul," I said. I'd regret looking for him already. "Whatever. I'm going back to bed."

Adrian blocked me. "Leaving so soon?" he smiled down at me.

"It's almost 1am, Adrian." I said lazily. I felt weird under his gaze, and I was so thankful for the darkness. I didn't want him to see me.

He didn't let go of my arm. Now he was serious. "We need to talk."

I looked him in the eye, somehow knowing exactly what it was he wanted to talk about. "Not now."

"Why not?"

I jerked my arm away from his. "I don't want to, okay? It's really not the time." I didn't look at him.

"Viktoria—"

Now that I looked up at him, and there was no way out.

* * *

I tore the rest of the flower, and it was now in a million pieces on the floor. I shifted, getting comfortable with my back to the wall of the outside my house, and the cold floor under me finally seemed to finally be warming up.

"Okay," Adrian said. For a moment it seemed he didn't know exactly what to say; I had answered all his questions. Which were some stupid ones.

"Adrian, I couldn't have stood up to those guards anyway," I said, "And I didn't know you—I don't really know you now either."

Adrian smiled at me, he looked uncomfortable sitting on the ground, but otherwise seemed to be having the time of his life. "Alright, any questions for me?"

I focused on him, "Just the obvious," I said, "Why do you use so much gel?"

He laughed, and I did too. "No," he said, "serious ones. Come on, I can handle it."

"My questions... they're stupid."

"Can't get any stupider than mine. Shoot."

I looked away. The rumors going around drove me crazy. "What'd you do exactly?" I knew he had stolen something. But maybe what we had heard was a lie. It couldn't be true, could it? It was way too simple. "What got you... you know, stuck here? With us?"

Adrian shook his head, still smiling, but his smile didn't reach his eyes. "You were right."

Aw, now I felt wrong; out of place. I bit my lip. Maybe I shouldn't have said anything. "I told you," I said.

He turned to me. "No, it's okay. But.." Adrian sighed. "Can I tell you later? After I get my thoughts together?"

I nodded.

"Thanks." He ran a hand through his hair. "You must be tired anyway,"

"Yeah," I stood up. "Here, I'll show you your room."

Adrian nodded, and we headed to the house.

My only thought was that I couldn't trust him, but at the same time I did. Like when you talk to someone you don't know; they seem nice, but there's something inside of you telling you otherwise.

Suddenly, my head was reeling. My cheeks were flushed. If he couldn't tell me that _one_ thing, how was I to trust him? Why did he have to _think_ about it? Would he want to lie to me or something? Think of something that actually made a good lie?

Adrian stopped so suddenly my breath caught. He turned to me, so close I could almost feel his breath. My cheeks heated. "Adrian, what—"

"Viktoria.." he said, trailing off.

"Yeah?" I tried to look past him, to see if there was something there, but he reached out, taking hold of my arm. It wasn't a tight grip at all, but somehow I could feel it down to my bone.

Some emotion played out on his face that I couldn't quite read. Almost as if he had found something out. Or maybe something troubled him. Confusion spread out through me.

I didn't want to look at him but I didn't seem capable of stopping myself. We were too close and there was too much tension between us both. His emerald gaze burned as it meant mine. He lowered his head, and I forgot how to breath.


End file.
